Getting Over The Sex Slump When You Are The Problem

Oh it’s hot and heavy, it’s wet and firey -and it’s not your sex life. it’s Netflix. It’s a rerun of Orange Is The New Black and those actresses are having more action than you’ve seen in weeks and THEY AREN’T EVEN ACTUALLY DOING IT!

It sucks and you don’t want to admit it, but you haven’t shacked up with your S.O in weeks or even months and it’s not them. it’s you.

What the hell happened? Why are you so closed tight? You love him right? DUH! You feel the urge sometimes, right? You aren’t even on your period right now. You just can’t do it- that’s what it is.

You want to, you just won’t. You want him to make a move, then turn down his advances. You want to be that spontaneous girl, but then you feel too awkward. “It’s been so long I can’t even remember how to start. I’m going to be so awkward he won’t even want me anymore. I’m gonna laugh and it will be a total turn off.”

GIRL PLEASE!

If that were the case, he would’ve been left since that last time he came home and you were still in bed, eating your third bowl of Rocky Road ice cream in your pajamas and skipped work because of your “cramps” (more like PMS and crying).

He is with you for a REASON. And it ain’t because you’re perfect and don’t fart in your sleep. Because you do.

If anything, your awkward laughs will make him want to fuck your brains out even more.

Your ASSUMING is going to get you no where. If he hasn’t made a move, you make a move. If he’s anything like my husband, he’d enjoy that WAY more than having to dip his toes in the COLD, DEEP, spooky waters that is your invisible sheild of unnecessary protection just to be turned down by your famous “not today babe” quote. Or if you’re me, that quote becomes a speech full of ‘im sorry’s’ and ‘i love you’s.’

 

No more feeling bad for turning him down. And no more being afraid of making that initial move. Girl you just don’t know how much force and power you have in those mom jeans. If you want him so bad, go get him. You’d be relieved afterwards when he can’t say anything because he’s catching his breath or in the kitchen making you 3am pancakes. Men are strange but they aren’t some newly discovered species we know nothing about.

If you know the love and connection between the two of you is mutual and he’s been TRYING so hard to get you in bed, surprise him. He probably won’t even care if your sheets are dirty.

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