Sometimes I want to push your OFF button in the middle of his 2 hour War Frame grind. Even worse, sometimes I want to unplug you and give you a warm electrifying bubble bath! This war of ours is one sided and I can’t stand it! You don’t even try. You just sit there with that smirk you call a disk drive. Never moving, your light glistening, and your idle fan coming on, going off, and coming on again. You are my greatest enemy and I feel useless compared to you and your many endless functions.
Still, while he is away I use you to your full capacity. Pandora, Google, YouTube, I even dabble in Sims 4 or Grand Theft Auto V when I need to release some road rage on a non-sentient digital being. I binge watch reruns of Friends and The Office with your help, yet I still hate you.
Being a married, understanding woman, I feel I can’t blame him for loving you. For giving you attention when I’m bored in the other room. But I should. And sometimes I do. I guess my biggest problem is allowing you to seem better than me.
I think I know what to do.
If you can’t beat them, join them.